When You Don't Know What To Write About

It's 1:22 in the morning and I should be sleeping. Later will be my big day for some administrative issues in my workplace. And I have to at least be familiar with my points to be tackled for the pending suspension I would serve if I get ass kicked because I buckled and didn't assert my side, which i think that i actually have done nothing wrong about. I like investigating; i like looking at things in different perspective; I never have been biased; and I find solving issues by connecting the dots very interesting. Ever since I saw that first James Bond film, thanks to my father who influenced me with 007 flicks, I wanted to be James Bond. He has everything, knows any activity you can ever think of, and yes, he can always get away with big guys with big guns and karate masters and crocodiles! And I almost forgot, he gets the gorgeous girls! ahh. Anyway, I fancied being a lawyer during and a little after college but then things changed and I am here. Secretly, I wanted to be a spy for the government with a body and skills like Black Widow! That would be nice xx

Something in me has changed somehow. Sometimes, I wonder how it would be like if my parents were born with a big chunk of earth in a city centre and we own a mining company and may dad holds a very high position in the public office haha. Definitely my needs would exclude things that money can't buy! I would definitely, specifically request that I manage an H & M chain. I wonder what I'd do with a lot of money. Let's see. Maybe I would sponsor trash bins to be placed around the entire metro! Garbage is everywhere because people don't see trash bins around so they tend to have a bigger place to throw away their waste, and it's everywhere. But I can't choose my parents and I am just thankful they made love on Valentines day of  1986 because I was able to see the light of day! It's up to me to make things happen the way I want it to. Life is hard but it's possible. xx

If everything happens for a reason, then why would God let us meet someone when there's no way we could ever be together? I wonder that myself. That when you actually meet someone who would take care of you like  no one has ever taken cared of you. When you actually want to change yourself, in a good way, because that person has that great influence on you. When you actually, for the first time, envision a future with anyone, someone and with that person. And reality bites you while daydreaming? How will you ever get over that? xx

DEMOTAPES AND CLOCKS

Most of the days pass by without significance

most of them went down on history

 and you don't remember any of it

you don't know whether to fast forward 

or rewind this life

well you don't have the power either

so gotta live life one slow day at a time

be friendly with time

Time is always right

just do what needs to be done

just be sensitive with clocks

make sure that as it ticks

it grows you 

not wither you

xx

Leave of Absence

Took a leave of absence from writing down my thoughts on a blog and give in to the little notes on twitter instead. I remember clearly, it was exactly 6 months ago that I last updated my site. I was then talking about my birthday wishlist, how I don't feel pressure of not having a boyfriend and some other stuff. A lot of things happened in the past months. It was a rollercoaster ride emotionally, and yes, physically because of my work schedules. I have sent from heaven one day and hell the next.  Most of the time, my emotions always get the better of me. I used to not be like this. The trait of not caring which I certainly acquired from my father became a deviant emotion that I myself was actually surprised about.Six months always has some significant happening--my credit card limit gets higher (haha), I put the big ticket items in installment for six months, not to mention I had the happiest 25 weeks of my life, wishful thinking. Six months flew too fast and I have a lot of stories to tell. Six months.  I hope to meet with the my dashboard more often though so I can share to the world what it is!