How's It Going?

Has it really been two years since I last made an entry here? I can't believe how time flies so fast, yet we seem to learn so little and so much, at the same time. I learn quite a few things since my absence here. 

Two years passed and I now know how to drive since I bought a car some seven months ago which is another learned skill of budgeting, a great responsibility I must say. Thinking of the comfort of home and not having to stay in dormitories anymore, the easy ride to places I want to go minus the Manila traffic, missing out on greedy drivers and their deepest sighs whenever traffic is standstill--- I must say that it was worth it afterall. 

Broke up with my best friend for a year, and here we are, trying to start where we left off. Had a deeper misunderstanding with one of my closest friends from work, which would probably take longer than not talking with my bestfriend for a year. The thing is, I learned quite a lot about friendships. Cliche as this may sound but  you don't really need a lot of people to surround yourself with. What you need are just few, real ones. On a sinking boat of friendship, you'll know who are real and those who are going to save themselves up, which is, of course, isn't bad. But stripping you off your lifejacket, which you will never do to them is another thing. It stings, by the way. 

I returned to writing here, because there never seemed to be a right place in the web for me. I seem to be the odd one out. I don't know if you ever felt like this. Everyone is on facebook humblebragging everything---new places they travel to but didn't really know the history of their profile photo's backdrop, cool people they hang out with though these would only remain an acquitance, new relationships with out common ground, anything new and fad that they just have to tell everyone. I'm not really comfortable divulging ng thoughts unless I want to get my message across with specific people. I tried to write on Hello Poetry for a few days because I want him to know my thoughts, but I lately realized that I'm invading his nook. I wanted him to hear me so badly I missed his point on trying to ascertain things that involved me.  So I quit. My fingertips brought me back here today, at the wee hours on a Black Saturday when everyone is probably    sleeping somewhere else. I just missed work today, and I woke up everyone in the house with my wail. I wanted to go to work, I really do. But I wanted to legitimately wail these days. I haven't had any of that because I have to pretend everything is fine about me. Everybody thinks I'm strong, and I hate it that I wanted them to continue thinking that, even when everything in me is being compromised by my mask. I don't know what to do anymore. 

My favorite professor messaged me an article about having your heart broken. I kind of recall much of it, and one thing that must be done is to write about it. So, I'm going to try, even when I'm all rusty now. I going to have to try. I only have myself now anyway.