DO NICE GIRLS ALSO FINISH LAST?

 As you know, I am quite addicted to WongFu Productions's channel on YT. This is  my take in Tammy asking in the Webseries, When It Counts. She asks, "They say nice guys always finish last. Do nice girls also finish last?"

Here's Tammy with her recent Vlog about nice girls and some viewers sharing their opinions.

Definition of NICE

a : showing fastidious or finicky tastes : particular <too nicea palate to enjoy junk food>

b : exacting in requirements or standards : punctilious <anice code of honor>

3

: possessing, marked by, or demanding great or excessive precision and delicacy <nice measurements>

4

obsolete : trivial

5

a : pleasing, agreeable <a nice time> <a nice person>

b : well-executed <nice shot>

c : appropriate, fitting <not a nice word for a formal occasion>

6

a : socially acceptable : well-bred <from a nice family>

b : virtuous, respectable <was taught that nice girls don't do that>

7

: polite, kind <that's nice of you to say>

I remember my college professor once told us in class to not take 'nice' as a compliment. Because 'nice' is a safe word, the most used adjective to describe a so-so something. Maybe that's the reason why you can't find nice people as head of a pack. These people can't lead because they're too nice, because they can't afford to lose something, or someone for that matter. They have the need for everyone to like them, for people to treat them nicely. Nice means a level higher than bad but a level lower than great. You use nice to describe something okay, that if it doesn't turn out the way your mind has pictured it to be but too afraid  you might say something that could hurt. Nice is overrated.

Maybe that's the reason why most nice people always finish last. People always want the chase, the danger, the one to push you to the edge, that  in a snap you'd be completely enamored by the charm, because, it's true, we always want something we can't have. To be on the lead, you must be aggressive enough to slit through the first impressions and intimidation. Being in control is fun, and to be controlled is a lot more. So take the pants on the first meeting as if you have nothing to lose. To lose or to win, you have to take the risk. You have 50% chance on getting the guy/girl, and 50% chance to lose him/her. Well, it only plays fair.

I'm quite sure I don't belong to the group of nice girls. I am stubborn and hard headed and clumsy; to put it simply, I don't think I put my best foot forward so I come in strong and stand a better chance. Hehe. I could play aggressive in a game of flirting and shallow meetings but if I find a guy I get REALLY interested to, I seem to lose myself in the middle and eventually becomes the nice girl. Maybe I'm afraid he might think of me as easy. I play hard to get because I have always believed that what comes easy won't last. I am always conscious of being compared to. So I hold it in me, all the emotions bottled up, and I wait for him to take the leap for us. And he didn't! Nothing regrets you the most that when you start to like him, he seems to drift away. And I came to realize that yes, somewhere over that period, when he has all his eyes on me, I was really conscious of what he thinks of me, so I become nicest I can be for him to like me more. I became the so-so person and lose the person he got interested to in the first place. I lose the person that I am comfortable being with---me.  My being nice brought me to a race with the hypothetical girls he could meet and have met, which is a total non sense not to mention, disaster. Since all feelings have been suppressed, it grows and grows on me until I think I was this close to falling in love.  Or so I thought.

I have been living for 26 years now and it was not more that a year that I came to accept myself despite my flaws and insecurities, realize what makes me happy, how I wanted to be loved and how capable I am of loving. And nice doesn't work for me.  Being nice may do to some people but I'd rather take the risk being me than take the risk being nice.

 If a guy doesn't like you back, upon taking the risk, then it's his problem. If he couldn't stand you at your worst, then he doesn't deserve you on your best. He has let an amazing person slip through and he's going to regret one day.  To hell with coming in first! Liking someone is not a competition, it's basically  about perfect timing. As one of the viewers  have said, if you don't finish first, it's not your race :)

Mae :)